Control Freak: Why Overplanning Feels Less Secure
The season of life I’m in comes with a lot of moving pieces. Between writing, running a small business, managing a home, serving at church, and trying to stay healthy, somewhere in the middle of it all, life can feel chaotic fast.
Most weeks, I feel like I’m juggling while riding a unicycle- neither of which I can actually do.
Because of that, planning feels essential to me. I map out workouts and long runs, bulk meal prep days, writing schedules, errands, and goals for the week ahead. There’s something comforting about sitting down with my planner and filling in every square. It makes me feel productive. Responsible. In control.
I can spend hours trying to optimize the week.
And almost none of it ever goes exactly according to plan.
Workouts get skipped. Meals move around. Writing happens at midnight because an idea refuses to let me sleep. The kitchen organization project I suddenly decided was urgent somehow took up an entire afternoon, even though it had never been written down in the first place.
Life interrupts the plan.
Unexpected expenses or market fluctuations can interrupt the budget.
That’s okay. Sometimes when we begin to let go of some control, we can find peace. Even in the unexpected.
The Struggle to Trust God Instead of Ourselves
Lately, I’ve been realizing that sometimes our obsession with control actually creates more anxiety, not less. We convince ourselves that if we can just organize everything perfectly, prepare enough, then we’ll finally feel secure.
But security was never meant to come from perfect planning.
There’s wisdom in preparation. Stewardship matters. Planning ahead is not the problem. The problem starts when we rely more heavily on our plans than we rely on God.
Sometimes we treat God like a backup plan instead of our first source of peace. We try to solve everything ourselves first. We work harder, research more, budget stricter, and plan harder. Then after exhausting ourselves, we finally turn to prayer.
How often is that the case?
We carry burdens we were never meant to carry alone. We search endlessly for answers, life hacks, financial shortcuts, productivity systems, or the next thing promising peace if we just “do this one thing.” The internet is full of people selling certainty. Most of the time, it only creates more noise.
What the Bible Says About Dependence on God
Meanwhile, Jesus simply says, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28
Not only with the giant crises, but with the small things too. In Matthew 19:14, Jesus says, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”
One of my favorite things about the image of little children coming to Jesus is that children don’t come as a last resort. They come with excitement and trust. They come with complete confidence that they are welcome to go to Jesus.
That kind of dependence feels uncomfortable for people who like control. Especially when sometimes finances can feel uncertain or the market shifts unexpectedly.
But throughout Scripture, God reminds us that He is the source of blessings. John 15:5 says “I am the vine and you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” A branch cannot sustain itself separated from the source of nutrients. The disciples understood this when they left behind the stability of their work to follow Jesus. They trusted Him for their daily provision.
Control tells us we must hold everything together ourselves. But faith reminds us we were never the ones holding it together to begin with.
Practical Steps for Letting Go of Control
This doesn’t mean we stop planning altogether; we stop worshipping our plan.
One thing I encourage clients is that flexibility is not failure. You do not have to abandon the entire week because one day went off schedule. You also don’t have to abandon your budget just because you overspent in one category. You can adjust without spiraling.
Instead of trying to accomplish everything perfectly, one strategy I use is asking myself: What are three things that would make my week feel successful? Then I can focus on making sure those things happen.
Examples:
Sometimes success in a season is about building consistency. You can intentionally change one thing at a time, and progress will follow.
Only grocery shopping once this week, and making what I already have work.
Saving an extra $50 instead of impulse spending. Spend some time checking for grocery sales or coupons and make a game out of saving money.
Having a no-spend week, outside of bills.
Going for a walk when you feel overwhelmed instead of reaching for your phone.
I think sometimes we define success by perfection when God is simply asking for obedience and stewardship in the season we’re in.
Even habit-building becomes more sustainable when we stop overcomplicating everything. One of the easiest ways to build a new habit is habit stacking: pairing something new with something you already do consistently.
If you want to spend more time praying or reading Scripture, use the two minutes while brushing your teeth to pray. Listen to Scripture during your daily commute. Build rhythms that fit your real life instead of creating unrealistic systems you’ll abandon in three days.
Small Acts of Faithfulness Matter
Perfect plans will never save us. The planner can still be useful. Goals and stewardship still matter. But peace was never meant to come from perfection.
Peace comes from trusting the One who already knows how the week will unfold before we ever open the planner.
And sometimes the most freeing thing we can do is loosen our grip a little and remember that God has never asked us to carry the weight of controlling everything.
Bible Verses for Reflection
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” -Matthew 11:28
“Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” - Matthew 19:14
“I am the vine and you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” -John 15:5